Good Grief

After countless conversations with a vast amount of people. I have come to the realisation that at some point in our lives there is something that we all have or will have in common, and that is experiencing grief. Grief is a part of life and is something that is unavoidable. Yet so many of us seem to struggle with dealing with grief. Why is this?

Growing up, there were many things we were taught, many things we were prepared to expect. For the most part we are told to get an education which should pave the way for a good job. We are told we will meet someone to settle down with, maybe even have children and buy a nice house with a garden. Yet when we experience loss, what are we told?

Personally I know when I was growing up, there were many aunties and uncles that died, yet none that I knew very well. The time I recall when I first experienced real grief was during secondary school and my friend was murdered. I remember feeling a whole range of emotions. I was confused, sad, lost, angry and so much more. I told my parents what had happened and they said 'sorry for your loss', and that was it. So throughout the rest of my childhood leading up to adulthood I thought 'well, things happen and that's that. You have to keep it moving’.

Yet life continues but many are left with this emptiness or pain, and it begins to overrun their lives. It effects jobs, relationships, health. Its sad to see but some truly become the living dead.

Life is made for living, I know some are thinking yes that's easy for you to say but it's not easy, yet it is the truth.

Some people that we have lost are irreplaceable, people that we feel we can't live without. Life is a journey and each one of us are on their own path, young or old, their is no real great time to die.
I once heard someone describe life as a bus journey, at some point we're all on the bus, but each has their stop to get off, and the rest continue.

In February 2019 I lost someone very dear to me, the passing was so unexpected and deeply, truly painful. Till today I cannot believe that this person is dead, yes I said it, that dirty word, dead. My heart sometimes feels as though it is engulfed with pain and feels like it will explode at any minute. That pain just needs to come out. So wether I have to cry it out for, write it in a journal, talk about it with someone, it has to escape. Otherwise I will be the one who is suffocated and overwhelmed by pain. Does that mean that one day all of the pain will go away? Absolutely not, but one step at a time as it will be something I have to live with.

Although death is absolutely tragic, and can to some people seem so final, we should not waste this one life that we have, let us deal with the pain that we carry, let us begin to heal. As we prepare to enter this new year let us do so with a different perspective. As we say those words 'Happy New Year’ let us believe that it can be just that. No one knows what tomorrow brings but whatever comes our way, we must survive.

Happy New Year!

This post is dedicated to the Late Tezo Bangi.




Guardians of the precious- Here to support you, so you may support your precious.






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